Last year when I got married to my new husband I spent a lot of time with his family and they told me stories about him when he was little. I love the stories and the fact that they like me enough to share them.
One day the story ended up being about his first words. His mom said it was “Bug off” how cute. I tried to remember what mine were but I am not sure I ever knew. Since my mom is gone I asked my dad and he had no clue. I think I was probably lucky he knew my name. Next I asked my grandma. She wasn’t sure but said I am sure it was mama. She has 13 grandkids so she gets a pass I guess. I asked my aunt and god mother and she had no idea either. I was so upset that no one knew my first word.
Unfortunately I guess it was lost with my mother. To try to get over this feeling of emptiness I have started a journal to my baby that is due this Christmas. It says silly stuff like how I feel, what I am doing a that moment or about me and his dad. My mom wrote me a letter when she found out she was dying. I found it when I was cleaning out her sewing desk after she died. I was happy but sad.
You never know what will happen on their path but I hope this book will be a wonderful guide later.