Category Archives: General Rambling

Anything and everything

The best grandma in the world

Today I saw a picture that one of my great cousins had posted. The picture not only had her mother but also had my grandma. Several of my family members commented and said they could see their grandma in the picture.

Today would have been grandma’s 92nd birthday, the picture was not posted today, I just happened to see it today. I used to think my mom and my grandma were somehow looking over me or out for me. Some strange coincidences that I am not sure I believe or not, remind me just at the right time that they are there.

A few years ago on Valentine’s Day I was doing taxes and looking for an old file in my filing cabinet when I came across a poem that my mom had printed and sent to me through snail mail on Valentine’s Day several years before. How likely is it that I happened to find the valentines letter on Valentine’s Day. On my birthday a few years later I was looking for something in email and I came across the oldest email in my mailbox from my mother in 2006 and all it said was “Hi from Mom”, it made my day to read the simple massage.

So today seeing my grandma’s picture on her birthday was a gift and I made sure to take the opportunity to remember the incredible person my grandma was.

When I looked at the picture I didn’t see my grandma I saw “me”, felt her hug and heard her soft voice saying “Let’s have ice cream and play gin, it will all get better”


Roots run deep

I have always just considered myself plain girl, and when I was younger, fat plain girl. I don’t have any famous people in my history. My husband on the other had has some pretty big shoes to fill. Both of us are complex people but for different reason that are worlds apart.

I am a diverse easy going, unnoticed, barely identified as a speck of matter in the universe that came from nowhere special, nothing important and surely no one worth mentioning in history. My grandma and dad’s mom lost her husband in her 30’s and worked hard at a sewing factory raising their three kids plus after losing her daughter in a car accident, she also raised her 2 of her grand babies that were only 1 and 2 years old at the time. She worked hard for little money but was always happy making it with what she had. She got to spend 15 years retired and living at the lake on only $350 per month in Social Security. My mom’s dad was a brake mechanic who actually made a decent living pulling in around $600 per week in the 60’s. He retired in 1980 when they decided they were going to pay him by the hour instead of by the job. His 18 retired years were spent in the middle of the couch beer in one hand a cigarette in the other, he was happy with that. My mom’s mom until she was 85 years old never had a job when I hired her to proofread documents for a project I had that needed so help and she had a sharp mind that landed her $25 per hour for a 3 month project. Her Social Security was also only around $300 per month added to grandpa’s $900 they were lucky my grandma was frugal. My mom got a job at 18 with AT&T and retired with 31 years of service when she was 50. Her life having been cut short when she was added to the gift registry body donations hopefully helping cancer research having had cancer twice with 2 different kinds and the only complaint was that she would never collect her hard earned Social Security. My dad also spent most of his life doing the same thing having 28 years of service when he retired in 1999 and since has been self described and bored and broke. Al in all nothing special for any of them just taking up space on this tiny planet and making me a big part of who I am, very thankful for having been a part of their lives.

Now on to the other hand in this marriage. My husband has a list of people that made their mark for different reasons leaving him with big shoes to fill. The man he called pop, other than his paternal grandfather what also after returning from WWII the principal of one of the local schools that was later named for him in honor of the service to the students which he knew the name of every one enrolled. Then there is his Popsy, his mom’s dad built managed and owned an excavating company that in the early 80’s was the largest in Texas, There is a street named after him as a result of him having poured the first concrete road in the city of Cedar Hill, TX. And this not being enough, he did it with a 3rd grade education and in a short time frame having passed away in 1981 of an aneurism. Now on to his mother who had 2 children while still in high school and managed to still finish, lead a simple life constantly perusing her passion for crochet which we found was far greater than anything we could have imagined while cleaning out her house following her passing away of cancer at the age of 56. Before her early end she managed to leave her mark as a contributor to a project that was a theory of a sphere that existed in nature and was visually represented in a display called the crochet coral reef that was on display at the Smithsonian and later traveled the worked. And while not immediate family his great great uncle was an infamous gun slinger and outlaw from the late 1800’s and if you are interested take a look at his Wikipedia. He not only has big shoes to fill he has a lot of them.

So while my husband has a family history full of people recognized for something that they worked hard at and was passionate about its success. I have a family history of those who just managed to make it. Who roots are deeper we will never be able to judge as we are all small variations of that original tree and part of the complexities of its massive root system.

Hopeless Bitcoin Enthusiast

btcxrpI am not sure why but every day I spend a few moments scattered throughout the day jumping around Bitcoin sites. Let me tell you that if you don’t know what they are, you need to find out, and if you don’t have any you need to get some. Whether it is Bitcoin or any other crypto currency, I recommend, ripple (xrp), but that is my opinion. I have been learning about it since 2011 but it started in 2009 and they at that time gave it away, they just threw it out everywhere to build hype and a reputation for itself, but trying to convince most people that there was value in something that wasn’t real. Many that had large amounts early on just lost them, forgot about them, or in some cases just threw them away, such as the person who threw away a house. Apparently they had thrown out an old computer that had enough Bitcoin on it that the lucky person who recovered it cashed in $200,000 and bought a new house.

The value of Bitcoin which was once $0 is currently creeping up on $1300 each, not quite it’s $1800 high from a few years ago but still quite an impressive gain. Especially when you can still get them, although very limited amounts for free.

So here I am giving you a start. By signing up on freebiebitcoin  you will receive $10 worth of Bitcoin. All you have to lose is the 5 minutes it will take to spread the word to others.

If you would like a little more because you become a junkie like me try it doesn’t pay much but when free can eventually turn into a house, why not waste your time you are sitting around doing nothing building a house (maybe)

**Note – I have not been paid for this I just did it so we are learning together. I am researching and testing.




Happy Earth Day Happy Birthday

On this Earth Day April 22,2017 I want to take time to say Happy Birthday to my mom that I miss so much, she was an incredible mix of many things that I am happy to have as part of me and part of my daughter. An artist, reader, smart, smart ass, witty, independent, caring, driven, and opinionated all tucked neatly under that tough as nails skin that never complained even through fighting brain cancer, went after the things she wanted and tried her best to fit everything she could into the 3 years she was given and still always had time to talk or listen. I have no regrets, although I am sad she never got to meet Katelyn who keeps a picture on her wall (by her choice) and knows exactly who she is just grandma.


I have noticed from time to time that some guests stumble on to my Facebook page, maybe looking for help, hope, information or support, just that one piece that can get a person fighting for the life of a child another day.
When this nightmare was our reality I searched and searched for information that would keep our preemies with us. What I found was frustration and broken heart. I will never suggest I know what someone is going through as everyone is different, I do however understand the situation and have sympathy for those struggling through this test.
Here is my two cents that I wish I knew then. While facing the decision for our babies to make sure they can live to tight or save them from fighting and entire life to live I wish I had the insight of those living it. This I would like to pass on and pray that it saves a heart.
“QUESTION EVERYTHING” Don’t take any information provided by any hospital person, doctor, counselor, social worker or security guard. The fact of the matter is that no one knows what the future holds for any child or anyone else. The twins both had a grade 4 brain bleed and we were called by the night doctors that we needed to take them off life support and the daytime doctors stating they were not supporting that at the time. The doctors pretty much made the decision for us and my final thought was that if they had a reason they would fight it out. Maybe there was a reason for them to go. The word from the doctor was that they had NO chance.
Since then I have met a boy who had no chance also with a grade 4 bleed and other than being smaller I would have never known.
I try not to have regrets but I probably would not make the same decision.
On a final note don’t listen to the social worker either who actually yelled at me because I did not file them for disability. I didn’t want to label them before I knew how that might effect them later. Come to find out if a child goes on disability they are put on a medical program with a higher out of pocket to the tune of 20% more.
I just felt the need to ramble a bit today