Tag Archives: family

Uncle Bobby contacting my dad

I came to the realization last week that every single mother that has had some sort of association with me has had cancer. Mom, Grandma, Other Grandma, Step Mom, First Mother-in-law, second mother-in-law and granny (in-law), all have won or lost a battle with cancer. Trust me you don’t want any part of being my mother.

Last year I noticed something not quite right with grandma. I would never claim to be her favorite and she would never say she had one, but we had a different relationship that she did with any of my cousins. She would call me when she needed anything. Blew a fuse, AC went out, garage door won’t open or even when her check book wouldn’t balance. It was no surprise when she asked me to come live with her; after all she was 88 years old and knew she needed help sometimes. So I sold my house and we my husband, daughter and I moved in with her. While living there it was obvious that she was not all there. She would check the mail over and over even on Sunday and leave the door open and she would eat all the ice cream she could stuff in.

I decided that it was time to tell my aunts and uncles but unfortunately I was the outcast and it didn’t help that my mom who they didn’t like was gone being one of the ones that lost her battle. After telling them that I thought something was up with grandma they flipped out. They blamed me of stealing her savings, and trying to manipulate her into giving me her house. Honestly I didn’t even think about it. I wouldn’t have wanted it anyway as I wasn’t in love with it. My grandma is what made it special. My aunts and uncles tag teamed me blaming me for money that she didn’t have that they thought that she should.

Grandma lost her battle in January of this year and I didn’t get to see her again after they kicked us out of grandma’s house they told me she didn’t want to talk to me because I stole her money. They didn’t know and probably still don’t that I called her and we talked for quite a while and she never mentioned that anyone stolen her money. I even asked leading questions like let me know if you need anything and she said she was just glad to hear from me. She didn’t know anything about it. I was really glad I called and talked to her and got to hear from her that she was ok.

This is us with grandma on her last birthday. So lucky to have the picture but more lucky to have the memories.
This is us with grandma on her last birthday. So lucky to have the picture but more lucky to have the memories.

My uncle bobby (moms brother) sent an email to my dad saying that he knows that they are our kids and that he can’t do anything but stick up for them and protect them. My dad’s response was priceless. He said you may have to stick up for your kids but I don’t have to stick up for mine. I don’t think I could have gotten a better compliment from my dad.

No thank you daily inspiration for reminding me how much I miss grandma

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Seconds Please

Personally the thought of getting something for free or next to nothing is exciting. Mom used to call it making money, as opposed to just trading it which is what generally happens. People go to work and trade work performed for a pile of paper or an electronic message sent to a computer that remembers everyone’s messages and allows one to trade little electronic pieces of their message for things like food. There are many who even trade that food for something like karma. In many ways everything is second hand.

Mom was by no definition poor. She lived in a giant house that the family back home said looked like an apartment building, she drove a nice car and was lucky enough to retire when she was 50 and move to the ideal location for her dream home, the Ozarks, halfway between her two daughters one living in Illinois and one in Texas. She loved to share how she accomplished this goal without having any special job or jackpot of funds at any time.

Almost everything mom wore was either homemade or came from a thrift store, except her socks and underwear, for obvious reasons. She never went out to eat unless someone took her saying that she could cook better anyway using vegetables from her own garden. The house was furnished with items she had accumulated throughout her adulthood and put time and love into repairing, recovering, and refinishing. Things found in second hand stores, garage sales or even lying at the curb on trash day not caring, when someone said “that’s gross” she replied that this furniture was real made out of wood not glue and sawdust.

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She pinched pennies, used coupons saved everything she could, and knew the power of compound interest. When she did retire and move to the mountains she had an estate auction to avoid having to drag that mansion of stuff and all that trash that had accumulated for all those years with her. It had somehow become carefully restored antiques worth piles of money, that she made, started as trash that she traded nothing for. Being the foot in the ashtray girl, you know the one that was told to get her fingers out, but stuck her leg up there and put her toes in it because mom never said anything about toes, reminded her that she traded her time for it, she quickly responded that her time had no value to anyone but her so in the same way it was making time.
She was smart and witty, knew what she wanted and how to get it, not counting on anyone to give it to her.

Living without her for almost 6 years now has been one of the hardest phases to deal with, but sharing her stories keeps her alive and reminds us of the power of one person.

What will this story look like 100 years from now? The term for what she did is Freegan. How will it evolve?

Her head on daddy’s shoulder


It has always been my special spot that I, with a giggle and a smile say that it was custom fit just for my head.

Little girl wasn’t feeling good and cried. Just when I thought I had all that my nerves could handle, daddy offered to hold her. She still cried but his patience and gentle touch after a few minutes had her calm and sleeping in his arms. Daddy’s magic worked on her and apparently hers worked on him too

I am still jealous that the little girl is in my spot but I wouldn’t trade anything in the world for this special moment watching my husband holding our daughter.

Delayed contact indefinitely

Not much time for a post today

I would say that my aunts and uncles do not deserve life on my planet.

My family has turned into terrible people after the death of my grandma.

It is so unfortunate that they were probably like that all the time but we tend to overlook the shortcomings of our family.

Lucky me they kicked me out of the family. Indefinitely

Probably turning someone elses head

It was I don’t know how many decades ago but I was at the local grocery store with my grandma, she was young enough to take herself but she liked to have someone drive her and go to lunch after.

We were standing in line at the checkout and said in a not so quiet voice “Do you smell that?” I replied “What?” She said “What is that smell?, I know have smelled it before I just can’t remember where”. I confirmed that yes I smelled it in hopes that it would end the conversation and she would know she wasn’t losing it.

Not my grandma, she asked again “What is that smell? Where is it coming from?” I quickly turned to her with a sharp “be quiet”, more of a hint that she might be wise just to drop it.

She was pretty thick and was lot letting it die until I let her know that it was marijuana and the that 2 people standing in front of us in line reeked of it.

Silence followed until we were clear of the store and the hippies as she called them. She was not using the term in a derogatory way, That is just what she knew about people and activities in the 60’s and popular name for them.

By the way I wasn’t alive in the sixties. but my aunts and uncles were. I wonder which one she remembered the smell from.

I miss you so much grandma, no one loves like I do, well grandpa, but who could compete with that.

This is us with grandma on her last birthday. So lucky to have the picture but more lucky to have the memories.
This is us with grandma on her last birthday. So lucky to have the picture but more lucky to have the memories.

Thank you to todays inspiration

 

Sick as a dog

For the last two days I have been sick as a dog and my daughter has been energy on overdrive. I didn’t know that the Frito bag refilled itself after emptied, apparently it does. I have already vacuumed it up twice.

Here is my question for the day for all parents and those that have all of the answers even thought they have never had any.

What do I do with the baby when I can barely lift my head off the pillow and daddy has to work?

Need help..

Love the cause hate the prompt

I hate hate hate this daily inspiration. It makes me think of my mother, who died of brain cancer almost 6 years ago.

I have seen and even been involved in the Susan G Komen fight for breast cancer and they have received more than half a billion dollars since they started but it is for breast cancer.

ALS affects 5600 people per year and about 30,000 people have it. I know it is aggressive and the life expectancy is 3 to 5 years. I cant claim to know how anyone feels but I do understand what they are going through.

The national brain Tumor Society receives around 6 million per year and there are about 50,000 people that are diagnosed per year with brain cancer.

You can call me bitter but the brain cancer in my mother was a second primary as she was a breast cancer survivor of 11 years when she was told on her birthday that she had brain cancer. She was given 3 years and fought with everything she had. It ended after 4 craniotomies and 3 and a half years. She never complained but you could see the pain on her face.

Now what really makes me bitter I have also lost my paternal grandmother, maternal grandmother, mother-in-law, and best friend to cancer. My daughter will not ever meet the wonderful women they were.

Sorry I had to get it out. I dont think that the ALS story is a globally appealing topic. Check the numbers 30,000 have it and there are about 7.2 billion people on the planet.

I am glad that they have so many people dedicated to helping their cause, currently at $31 million in donations.

No thanks to the daily inspiration for the bad memories